I thought I might pop in to let you know what's going on with Single.
I'm constantly bombarded by hundreds of thousands of zillions of billions fans every day, all tugging optimistically at my coat tails as I tower above them, asking "Mr. Shaw, when will Single be showing on a minimum of 4 screens at my local cineplex?"
"We're stilling working on it," I tell them.
But if I can just get cereal for a minute, I'll let you know what we mean by "We're still working on it." What this means is, we're broke.
Even though the rough cut of Single is completely finished, the truth is that the movie was shot using a microphone that can only be described as "forged in Satan's asshole". Meaning, the mic we used is quite awful. Most of the scenes we shot came out with an annoying ring or buzz that we simply cannot in good conscience keep in the movie. We have since violently destroyed the mic with hand grenades and c4.
Fear not though, this can be corrected! The problem is, this sort of technical audio work is beyond our grasps. So, until we have the money to find someone to fix our audio, Single will be sitting in a sort of post-production purgatory.
So that's what's going down in Single town. We sincerely thank everyone that's been so patient in waiting for the final cut.